Awakening
by Jen M. Snyder
Summary: this is a dragonage 2 fanfic. Anders and Fenris console F!Hawke. this is a SPOILER! don't read if you haven't played the game.


**Welcome to my dragonage 2 fic. **

**It's really just going to be a chapter during Act 2.**

**if you haven't gotten to play the game yet for whatever reason, **

**don't, and I repeat DON'T**

**read this. **

**It is a spoiler and I highly doubt anyone **

**will be happy that I broke this part this way. **

**So other than that...**

**Onward!**

Hawke sat starring absently into the fire. Gamlen stood behind her, ranting about the horror she had witnessed.

" This is all your fault! why couldn't you have been stronger? Faster?" He raged at her, with tears falling down his cheeks. " Leandra might still be alive if you had been. Why did this mage want her anyway?"

" she looked like someone." Hawke said, " like his dead wife. That's why he took her. "

" What happened to her?" He asked, balling his fists.

" you'd rather not know uncle." Hawke replied, standing and turning to him. " Trust me."

Gamlen stopped pacing and starred at her. " and what of the mage? You surely didn't let him live."

" There will be no more disappearances in Kirkwall." Hawke said, standing.

" I'll make arrangement to have Leandra's body retrieved."

She nodded and walked from the room.

She walked slowly up the stairs, and paused starring at the door to the right.

The day before was the last time she had seen her mother walk from that room.

Her heart felt like it was falling apart.

Hawke forced her eyes from the door, and fled down the hall to her room.

She sat on the side of the bed, starring intensely into the flames of her fire.

' what would have happened, I wonder?' she thought, pulling her knees under her chin. ' if I had been there an hour sooner, or even two hours? What would have happened if I had gone with her to the market like she had asked me?'

A small knock broke her out of her reverie.

She didn't bother to answer it, all she wanted was to be alone with her thoughts.

" Hawke." Aveline's voice rolled through the door. " Hawke please come out. I'd like to speak with you, to see how you're doing."

Hawke didn't reply, didn't want to.

Eventually Aveline got quiet and Hawke knew she'd left.

_Hawke stood in front of the butcher's crude lab. _

" _where's my mother?" she said, pulling her dagger out of it's sheathe. _

" _your mother was part of a far greater plan, one I have seen through." The mad man said, his eyes sparkling with delight. " I have touched the face of the maker, and lived. Just see for yourself." _

_The person sitting behind him in the chair, stood. Then stiffly made their way around to the blood mage's side. _

_Hawke's mouth dropped in horror at the sight of that familiar face starring at her. _

Hawke sat up. Her linens were soaked with sweat, and a gentle hand was placed on her forehead.

She turned to her right, finding herself starring into Anders eyes.

" how did you get in here?" she asked, turning away from him, and laying back down.

" everyone's worried about you." he said, gripping her shoulder. " you weren't like this when Bethany and Carver died. You can't hide in here, eventually you'll run out of food."

" I just need some time Anders." she said, not looking at him. " just.. just please leave me alone."

Hawke could feel the pain of that rejection in the air, and as Anders stood to leave, she almost called him back.

But instead she held her tongue.

Eventually she drifted back to her nightmare.

" _what did you do to her?" Hawke cried, her knees becoming jelly. _

" _don't you know?" He laughed, "I made her better, I brought her back to fulfill her destiny and mine." _

" _no." Hawke whispered as shades popped up around her. _

_A barrier formed around him, and the shade's attacked. _

_A demon formed in front of her eyes, and Hawke attacked. _

" I brought you food." a voice said cutting through her sleep.

She rolled over and looked at Merrill.

" Not hungry." Hawke said, rolling back over.

Merrill watched her for a little while, but eventually she left.

" well" Merrill said, walking out of the room. " That didn't work."

"what will get her out of that room?" Varric said, a second before snapping his fingers. " the same thing that mother always had me do to wake up Bartrand."

Varric smiled, and walked confidently into the room.

Merrill starred after him for a moment, before rolling her eyes, and walking downstairs.

After only a few moments, another walked through the door.

" what?" Hawke asked, without turning over.

No answer.

She lay there for a few moments just waiting, before a pair of firm hands grabbed the bottom of her blankets and ripped them off of her.

" HEY!" she cried, sitting up and starring at the dwarf.

" Time to get up little Hawky." Varric said, rolling her blankets into a ball.

Hawke stood up, thankful she had slept in her finery. She then proceeded to grab Varric by his shoulder and throw him out of her room.

Without a word to anyone else, she turned back around and went back into her room.

" That worked so well" Anders said, laughingly " it was especially nice to watch you get thrown on you're ass."

" yeah yeah yeah." Varric said, standing and wiping the dust from his suit. " laugh it up Blondie. But at the moment, Hawke is in so much sorrow you can practical smell it in the air."

" I wish there was something we could do," Isabella said, rubbing her chin " but I don't know what that could be."

Anders looked at Fenris, and motioned for him to come over. He had a plan.

_The last of the shades disappeared as Hawke rounded on the blood mage. As she watched, Fenris ran over and with a swipe of his blade ended the pathetic creature's existence. _

" _Mother." Hawke cried, as the frankenstien woman fell before her. _

" _I knew you would come for me." Leandra said, looking at her daughter. " he didn't think you would, but I knew. I always knew." _

" _I failed you." She said, tears making her vision foggy. " if I had been here sooner, if I might have saved you." _

" _You did save me." Leandra said, looking at her. " if it wasn't for you, he would have kept me trapped her. I get to see Bethany and Carver... and you're father again." _

" _Anders." Hawke said, looking over her shoulder at him. _

" _I'm sorry." Anders said, " she was tied to his magic." _

_Hawke starred down at Leandra, realizing the inevitable._

" _it's okay darling." She said, her voice getting softer. " my only regret is that you'll be left here all alone." _

" _it's okay mother." Hawke said, tears threatening. " I've got everyone to look after me." _

" _I just want you to know one thing darling." Leandra said, her voice fading faster. " i'm so proud of you." _

_Leandra closed her eyes. _

" _Mother?" Hawke said, leaning over the corpse. " Mother!" _

Hawke opened her eyes at the sound of boots on her carpet. She sat up, starring at eh men in front of her.

" I know" Anders said, moving to the bed, and sitting beside her. " you wanted to be alone, but this really isn't healthy."

" for once Anders is correct." Fenris said, sitting down on her other side. " you need to let your grief out so you can begin to heal. It will drive you insane if you don't."

Hawke didn't move.

Uncomfortable silence descended on the room. No one moved or spoke.

After a few more moments, Hawke sighed.

Fenris looked at her, as did Anders.

She pulled her knees up to her chins, wrapping her arms around them.

" you know," Hawke mumbled, " before we came to Kirkwall, my mother was so worried."

" about what?" Fenris asked, putting a hand on her shoulder, and shooting Anders a smug smile.

Anders glared at him, before putting his arm around her.

" what was she so worried about?" He asked.

Hawke chuckled even as tears began to roll down her face.

" she was so scared on the boat." Hawke wiped her eyes. " we had lost everything. My father's house, my sister was dead, and the few belongings we did have weren't going to be a worth much. We didn't know at that time that Gamlen had spent the family fortune or that we didn't actually have a home to go to."

" I wouldn't think that your mother was worried about that?" Fenris said, shooting sparks at Anders arm.

" oh she wasn't." Hawke said with a small laugh. " it was me."

Anders looked down at her.

" what do you mean?"

" she knew that Bethany and I had been rivals." Hawke wiped her eyes. " but she also knew that we were the closest of friends. I cared so much for my sister, and in the blink of an eye she was gone. Crushed before I could move to save her. I don't think she meant what she said, but it still made me ashamed, and hurt."

" I'm sorry." both men said at the same time, before shooting a glare at each other.

" and then Carver." Hawke continued, oblivious to the confrontation taking place above her. " oh Maker, Carver. I shouldn't have let him go with me. My mother said she didn't want him to go, didn't want him to get hurt. She said that she had a bad feeling about the expedition, but I didn't listen. We didn't listen. But afterward, when I had to look my mother in the eyes and tell her what had happened. I saw it on her face, and heard it in her voice. She blamed me for his death too."

Tears streamed unbidden down her face, and Hawke didn't even try to wipe them away.

Anders glanced down at Hawke, his heart clenching at the tears.

" She died because of me," Hawke said, her voice finally breaking. " if I had just gone with her like she wanted me to that morning. She wouldn't have tried to help him. She would be here now getting ready to come tell me that dinner's ready, or about what happened today. It's my fault. It's my fault that she's dead."

" Don't" Anders and Fenris said together.

" do not blame yourself." Fenris said, " this would have happened no matter what you did."

" you can't know that." Hawke said, gripping her knees.

" that mage would have done anything to get your mother." Anders said, " he was insane."

" you can't know that." Hawke said again.

" think of it this way." Fenris said, putting his hand under her chin, and making her look into his eyes. " if that mage hadn't taken you're mother, he would have tried to take you."

" not really," she said, pulling her chin away. " I don't... didn't look like her."

" I can't believe you!" Anders said, standing up. " you look exactly like your mother. If that mage hadn't taken her, then he would have taken you."

" you can't know that."

" I DO KNOW THAT!" Anders yelled, throwing his hands up. " WE ALL DO!"

Hawke just starred at him.

" where would we be without you?" Anders said, sitting back down in front of her. " you look after all of us."

" you always negotiate with Aveline to change the posts around my house." Fenris said, moving in front of her too. " you've helped Merrill, and Varric. You saved Aveline."

" you saved me, and Fenris too." Anders said, pulling her hands together in his. " you saved Isabella, and helped Prince Prissy Pants."

" you are the reason that we came together." Fenris said, stealing one hand from Anders. " YOU are the reason that we get things done."

" So get up." Anders said, pulling on her arm, while rising from the bed. " We all need you. You can't give up on us. Not now."

They pulled her to her feet.

Hawke starred in awe at the men before her. Then her face broke out in a smirk.

" well." Hawke said, pulling them both into a hug. " at least I have this family."

Hawke kissed them both on the cheek, and moved to her wardrobe.

" i'm going to change." Hawke said, turning back to them, and giving them a large smile. " Then let's go kill some mercenaries."

Fenris and Anders left, stopping outside the room.

" well does this mean," Anders said, looking at the elf. " that she wants both of us or just me?"

" no she wants me." Fenris said, walking down the stairs. " I mean why would she ever want a mage?

Anders grimaced, then looked back at the door. He touched the wood, and touched where she had kissed him.

A small smile touched his lips, then he turned and left.

**Hey hoped everyone liked.**

**I'm taking thoughts on fanfictions relationships **

**between DA 2 characters. **

**So just tell me which characters you want, **

**and i'll try to make it. **

**Please keep it in the more main characters of the game**

**like the companions. **

**Please no one from the first game. **

**TTYL **

**Jen **


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